fbpixel

10 years of Yaqeen. Help power the next 10.

Donate Now
How Much Divorce Are You Seeing? | Signs of the Hour Ep. 22

Signs of the Hour

How Much Divorce Are You Seeing? | Signs of the Hour Ep. 22

The Prophet ﷺ said there is no sin more deserving of punishment in this world, on top of what awaits in the next, than oppression and cutting off family ties. Most sins can be expiated by worldly hardship. These two are punished in both. Dr. Omar Suleiman reads that as the reason a broken family counts among the signs of the Hour: it does not stay private, and its cost shows up as a lost blessing in health, wealth and every other relationship.

In this episode, Dr. Omar Suleiman separates setting boundaries with someone harmful, which Islam allows, from treating every family discomfort as abuse, which it does not. He goes through the hadith of the man whose relatives kept wronging him, Ibn Mas‘ud’s answer when a storm in Kufa made people think the Hour had come, siblings fighting over an inheritance, signatures used to steal, and why the first thing the devils teach is how to separate a husband and wife. The episode closes on what Madinah was built on.

This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
00:00Kids can come to the janazah, cry over the same parent, and the same day start trying to box each other out of the inheritance. It's one of the most devastating things to watch.
00:09To sit with five people who all pray five times a day, and they're trying to knock the sister out of the inheritance. Your parents are gone, and people fight over this. And if you're willing to cheat your sibling out of inheritance, what chance does your customer have?
00:23What about your business partner? Or someone out there when it comes to a consequential business decision? Cutting off your family ties is not a private sin. It's actually also a sign of the end of times, and a sign of social decay.
00:42Now why is it that this falls particularly under Ashrat as-Sa'ah? The end of the world. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said an authentic hadith from Abu Bakrah.
00:54He said,
01:06He said ﷺ, there is no sin more deserving that Allah ﷻ punishes its perpetrator for in this world, as well as storing up the punishment for them in the hereafter.
01:21Then two things, oppression and cutting off your family. Oppression and cutting off your family. Listen carefully to what he's saying ﷺ. The storing of the punishment is still there in the hereafter.
01:34But the punishment is hastened here. And the scholars of hadith mentioned that this is not the norm with sins. The norm of sin is that in this dunya, if a person is punished here, and it forces them to repentance, then it expiates.
01:48So that they don't have to face it in the hereafter. Here the Prophet ﷺ is saying that these two sins, what they lead to is an accelerated punishment in this life,
01:57as well as the storing of the punishment in the hereafter as well. And so cutting off your family, it has worldly consequences. And SubhanAllah, that 'uqubah, what does it look like?
02:11It looks like, you know, financial ruin. It looks like Allah ﷻ, you know, removing the barakah from all of your other relationships. It looks like the lack of barakah in your health.
02:25It looks like the lack of barakah in your wealth, right? So the 'uqubah coming, the punishment being hastened, is not just that something visibly punishing comes to you.
02:38But rather that Allah ﷻ puts that person in a situation where bad things are hastened. And they are not hastened as a means of earning good. They're hastened as a means of paying back for the way that they treat their family.
02:51And so as a community, that hastens our 'uqubah as well. It hastens our punishment as well. And we ask Allah ﷻ for protection from that. Allahumma ameen. Of course, when it comes to qati' ar-rahim, a person who severs their ties,
03:04the Prophet ﷺ mentioned that the ties of kinship are suspended from the Throne of Allah ﷻ. And Allah ﷻ says, whoever maintains me, meaning the ties of the kinship that I have established, then I will maintain him.
03:18And whoever severs me, then I will sever him. The Prophet ﷺ said, la yadkhul jannata qati' ar-rahim. That the one who cuts off their family ties will not enter into paradise.
03:31So again, the point is here, dear brothers and sisters, that cutting off your family ties is not a private sin. It's actually also a sign of the end of times and a sign of social decay.
03:46Important again, boundaries, setting boundaries, especially in the cases of harm, make sense, right? So Islam does not say you should enable abuse. But at the same time, you should not treat every discomfort as abuse.
04:00And that's where the line gets blurred. There are natural discomforts and hardships that come with dealing with human beings. And especially when it comes to family.
04:10And the quickness by which we assign big words to natural human phenomena is not part of our deen. And I know that a lot of people don't like that. I'm saying it, wallahi,
04:24out of a sense of love and care for our community. Too often that gets packaged into something that it is not. Plus, there's a spectrum here. Sometimes you don't have to cut someone off. You can maintain respectful distance.
04:37You can limit your companionship. You can still establish your rahim. You still establish the ties of family without going all in, especially if you feel like that discomfort is going to put you in a bad situation.
04:52But this hadith that I share with you here, it doesn't fit our modern times, which is that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, laisa al-wasil bil-mukafi,
05:02wa lakin al-wasil alladhi idha qutiʿat rahimuhu wasalaha. That the one who maintains family ties is not merely the one who reciprocates goodness, but rather the one who maintains family ties is the one who, when he is cut off,
05:17he makes an effort to join those family ties. He makes an effort to try to bring them together. Also, in the hadith of Sahih Muslim, when a man came to him and said, I have relatives who I try to keep together, but they cut me off.
05:31I do good for them, but they mistreat me. I am patient with them, but they act foolishly towards me. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, la'in kunta kama qulta, fa ka'annama tusiffuhumul-mall, ya'ni ar-ramad al-harr,
05:44wa la yazalu ma'aka min Allahi zahirun 'alayhim ma dumta 'ala dhalik. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, look, if it is as you say, then it's as if you're feeding them hot ashes. And you will not be in that situation
05:58except that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will maintain a supporter with you from him, as long as you remain upon that behavior. This hadith doesn't fit modern times. I'm telling you right now that a lot of people would have a problem with this hadith.
06:12But if we want to hold on to our deen, this is what our deen teaches us. Not accepting abuse, but extending magnanimity. Trying to be the person of grace, always to the extent that does not descend
06:25into the opposite of la darar wa la dirar. Do not abuse and do not accept abuse. The other elements of this, when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam connected in a single hadith,
06:37qat' al-arham wa dhuhur al-qalam. It's really interesting. The cutting off of family and the spread of the pen. Some of the ulama, what they mention about that,
06:48is that because of the spreading of writing and the amount of contracts and the amount of documentation that exists, but they exist without a sense of amanah, without a sense of trust and without taqwa,
07:03without fear of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, they mean nothing more than the piece of paper that they're written on. So that means that the family agreements, I mean, you know, what's really sad, SubhanAllah, I tell you, like, I've mentioned this before,
07:17like there's a lack of taqwa in marriage, there's much more of a lack of taqwa in divorce. How many people actually honor their marriage obligations when they've reached the point of divorce? What was put in the contract?
07:30You'll see the most religious people suddenly disregarding it all. Why? Because I feel like I was wronged, so I want to get back at it. You're only hurting yourself. You're only hurting yourself.
07:44So it doesn't matter what's written anymore because the hearts that write them and the hearts that agreed to them are poisoned. So there's still going to be destruction of inheritance, destruction of the rights of people with one another.
07:58And the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he mentioned in another narration, a specific one when it comes to inheritance, right? This is a mawquf narration from Ibn Mas'ud radiAllahu ta'ala anhu and it has a story behind it.
08:12Yusair ibn Jabir, he said that there was a rihun hamra bil Kufa, in Iraq. So there was like a nasty storm in Kufa. Faja'a rajun,
08:26that a man came to this person and he started to scream out, Ya Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, ja'at al-sa'a, ja'at al-sa'a. Started to scream out to Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radiAllahu anhu in the midst of that sandstorm.
08:39The hour has come, the hour has come. So Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, he sat up straight. And he said, inna as-sa'ata la taqoomu hatta la yuqsamu mirathun
08:54wa la yufrahu bi ghanimah. He said, the hour will not be established until the inheritance is not divided amongst the families and people no longer rejoice over the spoils.
09:08Very interesting hadith. What does this mean? SubhanAllah, it is very sad again, how, you know, kids can come to the janazah, can cry over the same parent
09:23and the same day start trying to box each other out of the inheritance. It's so sad. It's one of the most devastating things to watch. To sit with five people who all pray five times a day
09:37and they're trying to knock the sister out of the inheritance. They're trying to say this person doesn't have any right to it. They're trying to say, but my dad told me that like, the mirath, like at least honor that your parents are gone
09:52and people fight over this. I'm going to share something by the way from Palestine. One of the saddest things, SubhanAllah, almost every Palestinian family will tell you a story about someone in their family fighting over land and families being broken up over fighting over the land and inheritance. And then what happens?
10:06The Israeli settlers come and torture and take it. Was it worth it? Absolutely not, right? So we have to be very honest about this, honest with ourselves. Like when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentions that people will cheat each other, cheat their own family.
10:20And if you're willing to cheat your sibling out of inheritance, what chance does your customer have or your business partner have or someone out there when it comes to a consequential business decision?
10:31So this falls under the loss of amanah as a whole. So be careful when it comes to what Allah Azawajal has assigned of the shares of inheritance. Do not take a penny more than what is due to you and be the person that actually overlooks and says,
10:45you know what, alhamdulillah, whatever, if there's a discrepancy, I want it to be against me because Allah Azawajal will reward me. Like we go from, instead of thinking, how can I give as much sadaqa jariyah as possible on behalf of my parents to how can I box out everyone else
11:00and get my share from my parents instead? May Allah Azawajal protect us. And of course, the narration here, inna Allaha qada'a kulla dhee haqqin haqqahu fala wasiyyata li warith. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, Allah has given every rightful person their right.
11:14So there is no wasiyya on top of what Allah Azawajal has already declared, distributed in that regard. And then of course you find the ahadith where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentions the breakdown of family,
11:28but also mentions it with false testimony. So this is where the stealing no longer is someone showing up to someone's house with a sword, but the stealing is with a signature, a false testimony that allows for someone
11:42to have their rights confiscated. May Allah Azawajal protect us from that. And then of course, what we mentioned last time of murder, when the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned that la taqoomu as-sa'atu hatta yaqtula ar-rajulu jaarahu wa akhahu wa abahu, that the hour will not be established
11:57until a person kills his neighbor, his brother, and his father. I want to end this particular chapter with two things. Number one, when Allah Azawajal tells us
12:11about what the shayateen learn from their practices, the very first thing Allah Azawajal mentions, ma yufarriquna bihi bayna al-mar'i wa zawjihi.
12:24How Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la mentions that they try to tear apart husband and wife. And so that's why you'll find in the books of Ashrat as-Sa'ah, the chapter of kathrat at-talaq, the abundance of divorce. Not that divorce is haram in and of itself,
12:38but that divorce no longer becomes a solution to a situation where there was no resolution, but instead becomes a convenience and a response to people's greed and a response to people's hastiness
12:51and a response to people not honoring the contract or the person on the opposite end of that contract. Shaytan is going to try to attack and break the household apart. When you do the studies on doubts,
13:03on what causes people to have doubts in their faith, this is one of the greatest predictors of doubt. If Islam is not good enough to hold my family, then how is it going to be good enough to hold me together?
13:15So households are very precious when they're honoring the Qur'an and the Sunnah and trying to keep the shaytan out, box the shaytan out of your house, box the shaytan out of your relationships.
13:29And if you think about the shayateen that are learning the sihr of how to divide between husband and wife, those shayateen design your algorithms now. SubhanAllah, I remember reading an article about why Instagram is telling you to leave your family.
13:44And you can read psychological journals about how social media usage is linked to family estrangement. It's happening. Spouses, children, parents, right?
13:56The algorithm caters to you, and then it builds you up to the point where anything that challenges that version of you is an enemy, right?
14:09So family estrangement is linked to the increase of social media usage, not just because, you know, obviously, you know, our screens steal our presence. They validate every one of our grievances. They tell us all of these things about ourselves
14:24to make us happy, right? But also because we start to read our stories into everybody's worst story, right? And so we become filled with the types of things
14:35that turn us against every single person in our lives. And we ask Allah ʿAzza wa Jall for protection. The last thing I'll say in regards to this is that when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came to Medina, the messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam established the society on what?
14:50Spread peace. And feed the people. And keep your family ties. And pray at night when other people are sleeping, and you will enter Jannah in peace. What the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
15:04gave to build a society falls apart when these things are not upheld. And we ask Allah ʿAzza wa Jall for protection. Allahumma ameen.