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What Real Masculinity Looks Like | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine
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What Real Masculinity Looks Like | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine
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What Real Masculinity Looks Like | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine

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SeriesHistoryPolitics & Practical Theology

Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine

What Real Masculinity Looks Like | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine

Tom Facchine

Tom Facchine

As many men gravitate toward “performative masculinity” with matcha lattes and gym-bro culture trending, masculinity is losing its genuine essence. 

But Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed what real, balanced masculinity looks like: strength without ego and gentleness without weakness. Imam Tom explores how to move beyond labels and embody a timeless example of authentic manhood. 

This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
00:00Oh sorry, I was just reading my daily dose of Sylvia Plath.
00:10Performative maleness is trending now and this is this idea that men have to act a certain way to be treated with dignity and respect and to not be considered toxic.
00:20So people have been talking about the performative male starter pack, feminist literature, matcha lattes, a certain type of way of dressing. And it's really interesting because it brings us back to prophetic masculinity.
00:34The Prophet (ﷺ) is the epitome of what a human being can become and also the epitome of what maleness and masculinity is.
00:45Maleness and the masculinity of the Prophet (ﷺ) was not performative, it was genuine. And you find that of all the different qualities that people chase after, that his qualities and characteristics were in the perfect balance.
00:58And there's a hadith from A'ishah (رضي الله عنها) that perfectly for me encapsulates the balance and the genuineness of the masculinity of the Prophet (ﷺ).
01:10Which is when she said that the Prophet (ﷺ) never raised his hand, meaning never struck or hit a woman or a child or a slave or anyone except for the enemy on the battlefield.
01:23And these two things to me go together perfectly. That the Prophet (ﷺ) when it came to the people who were under his care, the people who trusted
01:33him and looked to him for guidance and leadership, he was stern and firm when he needed to be. But he was never a tyrant. He was never somebody who was going around puffing out his chest or trying to control
01:46people or trying to manipulate people, far be it from that. He was somebody who connected with people, who cared about people's inner states and also their outer states and gave them advice in a way that was the most beneficial and befitting to them.
02:00Depending on the personality he was dealing with, sometimes it was gentleness and meekness, sometimes it was a stern word or a cautionary word. But he never crossed the limits with those who were under his care.
02:13Yet he was still fierce on the battlefield against the people who are evildoers, who are trying to spread harm and trying to do harm to others. People that if you don't neutralize their harm, they are going to hurt everything that
02:26is good and sacred and holy in society. He would save his real wrath for those situations. So we find in the Prophet (ﷺ) the perfect balance of masculine qualities.
02:39We find genuine manhood and masculinity, not performative manhood. He's not trying to show this or that or project this or that to anybody. And so for Muslims today, especially the Muslim men, be genuine.
02:53Be genuine in your manhood like the Prophet (ﷺ). Don't be a white knight, don't be a simp, don't act like you have to virtue signal. Be genuine. If people can't find a way to categorize you or to put you into a box, then that might
03:07indicate that you're doing something right. It might indicate that you're on the path of the Prophet (ﷺ) who was the best mix of all qualities and had no contamination of bad qualities.

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